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hypnobirthing for partners

Carlie · Nov 2, 2018 ·

Here is one for the men and partners about to welcome their child into the world.

In my previous blog post we talked about fear of childbirth, how fear can lead to the complications we are afraid of and how hypnobirthing can help you to have the experience of birth that you want. To read this post please click here.

But what about the partners of pregnant women?

“what about them?” I here you ask.

Fathers to be and partners play and integral role within childbirth, yet they often get pushed to one side because they are not actually experiencing it. However, it is within human nature to assess the safety of a situation by looking to those who are closest to us. If birth partners can demonstrate confidence and positive expectations, women are more likely to feel safe enough to let go, partners will feel connected to the experience and as a couple you can share in this incredible journey.

Whilst several studies have considered the fears of women, few have explored the fears of men or partners. One study which did look to paternal fears identified the most common being:

Harm being done to their partner or child.
Partner being in pain.
Feeling helpless.
Possibility of interventions.

The idea of men feeling helpless when it comes to childbirth is a common one. I hear so many times from men and partners that they wish they could do more. They often feel they are getting in the way or want to understand what their partner is experiencing. I also often hear from partners that they wish they could take a bigger part as they see such a close connection between mother and baby because of the experience.

Hypnobirthing is about working as a team

You have both taken part in creating your baby, therefore you both take part in bringing your baby into the world.

Childbirth has the potential to be the most amazing experience of your lives and an important step in the transition to becoming parents. Hypnobirthing classes allow you to share your experience together.

Hypnobirthing is not just about the experience of the mother, it is about a couple working together to bring life into the world. The benefits for partners include:

A greater understanding of the childbirth process to enable you to understand what is going on for your partner.
Time to define the role that you will play.
Reduction or elimination of fears.
Greater sense of confidence and control.
Understanding through visualisations what your partner is experiencing and what she needs.
Tools to allow you to encourage, reassure and increase a sense of calm, confidence and control in your partner.
Allows you to take an active part in the process.
Increased bonding between you, your partner and baby.

I always encourage partners to come along to hypnobirthing sessions whether it is the father, partner, friend or family member and it is always wonderful see their growth in confidence.

Fathers and birth partners, you are a part of this process, so come and enjoy the journey.

To find out more about hypnobirthing please visit my Cheshire hypnobirthing page or it you would like to ask any questions at all please contact me via telephone or email.

Fear of childbirth and hypnobirthing

Carlie · Oct 31, 2018 ·

Becoming pregnant is life changing.

As you prepare for the physical, social and psychological changes ahead, this will undoubtedly bring with it a range of emotions, spanning from the excitement and joy of becoming parents, to the anticipation and for many, anxiety of childbirth. For around 10% of the population this can take the form of an intense fear known as tokophobia.

Where has this culture of fear surrounding childbirth within our society come from?

The severity of anxiety surrounding childbirth varies dramatically, as do the causal factors. Every pregnant woman and her partner are unique, fears and anxieties will be based on your individual experiences and beliefs. However, several studies have identified the main causal factors of as:

Previous negative or traumatic experiences.
Secondary fears such things as blood, needles or hospitals.
Shame surrounding sex.
The transmission of information.

Hypnosis and psychotherapy can help you to work through and overcome previous traumatic experiences, other related phobias and feelings of shame, so please contact me if you would like to discuss this further.

The transmission of information is a factor which everyone can identify with, so let’s take a closer look.

The way in which childbirth is portrayed has been found to be a major factor in the development of fears. In fact, studies have found a significant proportion of women either delay or forego having children or consider elective caesareans due to their fear.

The stories we tell each other and the way birth is spoken about are all taken processed and stored in our subconscious memory – effectively we become negatively hypnotised.

It is programmed into us through the media, through traumatic stories, and through the way in which we are spoken to about pain control as if it will inevitably be required.

So rarely does the media find stories of joyful births newsworthy. Birth is presented as something to be feared, as a medical procedure that we must get through in order to become parents. Even the term ‘labour’ is suggestive of an ordeal.

We are so lucky to have the medical equipment and expertise to deal with complications that do sometimes arise. However, is the culture of fear and medicalisation of birth contributing to the occurrence of complications?

What happens in childbirth when we are anxious?

When we are fearful, the anxiety response (fight, flight or freeze response) kicks in, telling us that the environment is unsafe, that danger is ensuing, therefore the body prepares for survival. However, childbirth is a normal, natural bodily process and this anxiety response is just not helpful in this situation.

So how does anxiety hinder childbirth?

Blood flows to those parts of the body needed to fight or to run away. Blood and oxygen are directed away from the uterus causing contractions to become less efficient.
Production of cortisol (stress hormone) increases which in turn decreases production of oxytocin (love hormone). Oxytocin is needed in copious amounts to stimulate contractions, therefore the progression of labour is slowed.
The muscles in the uterus and birth canal tighten, causing discomfort and reducing elasticity.
Discomfort causes more stress and fear and so the cycle continues and continues.

How can hypnosis help for childbirth?

In a review of current research, it was found that hypnosis and self-hypnosis used in childbirth showed consistently better results than standard medical care, counselling and childbirth education classes in: reducing pain, reducing the duration of labour, reducing the amount of interventions required and increasing newborn’s APGAR scores.

Hypnosis for childbirth:

Can teach you how take control of your experience.
Reduce or eliminate fear of childbirth which in turn allows labour to progress more quickly.
Change your expectations of childbirth.
Give confidence to both you and your birth partner.
Provide you with the tools to manage sensations of discomfort.
Helps with bonding between you, baby and partner.
Has been found to reduce the risk of post-natal anxiety and depression.

Studies have shown the most significant indicator of a positive birth experience is whether or not a woman feels safe and in control, hypnobirthing can give you this.

Take control with hypnobirthing, Congleton, Cheshire.

Hypnobirthing is not about teaching you how to give birth, your body and your baby are already perfectly designed to do that. It is about teaching you how to let your mind take a step back and allow your body and your baby to get on with what they were made to do. It is about education, relaxation and giving you all the tools to feel in control of sensations and your childbirth experience. Whether this is your 5th time giving birth or your 1st, whether you are anxious or not or whether you are having a natural birth or caesarean hypnobirthing allows both you and your partner get the most out of your childbirth experience.

I am trained in the easibirthing® model of hypnobirthing which is exclusively designed for qualified hypnotherapists and developed in conjunction with midwives to reflect UK birthing practices. To find out more about the easibirthing® click here

I offer one to one sessions and group sessions of hypnobirthing and can tailor these to your specific needs, concerns or experience. If you would like any more information you can read more about the benefits of hypnobirthing here or please contact me with any questions you may have about how hypnobirthing or hypnosis and psychotherapy can help you.

Let’s start the conversation

Carlie · Oct 19, 2018 ·

Welcome to my first blog.

It feels as if it has been a long time coming but here I hope to share my passion, knowledge and insights into hypnotherapy, psychotherapy and mental health in general.

It is my aim to develop a conversation about mental health that extends beyond the therapy room. That it is no longer something that is talked about in hushed voices. It is my vision that therapy is no longer seen as a last resort, that the idea of taking care of our mental health becomes as important as our physical health.

The pace at which we live our lives is ever increasing, the expectations of modern life are much greater than they have been before. We place so many demands and stresses upon ourselves in the work place, the home, the way we look, the way we raise our children. Yet within our culture we are rarely taught to praise ourselves, to stand back and recognise our achievements, to realise that we are worthy and we are enough.

It can be difficult. Many of us are taught to put others first and to think about ourselves later. Whilst this may appear admirable, how can we expect ourselves to give to another if we are not the strongest we can be? It is my hope that my blogs can share insights, tips and research, dispel myths and encourage the idea that it is OK to put yourself first, that self-care is not a luxury but an essential part of living.

Seeing a therapist is about taking charge of your mental health, it is not a weakness.

Einstein said “we cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” I hear he was quite a clever man.

We often try and fix our problems ourselves and berate ourselves when we can’t. We might talk to friends or family and they can be an incredible support network but therapy is different. It allows you take a step back from the problem, gain a new perspective and change the way we think which in turn can change the way we feel. This is a skill which will impact upon every aspect of our lives. Taking time to look after our mental health not only benefits our emotional wellbeing but also has an enormous impact on physical health, our ability to perform, our relationships with others and provides us with the ability to move beyond just getting by, to really living our lives.

I look forward to sharing the conversation with you.

Carlie.